Thursday, March 5, 2015

"I Hope You're Happy"


A few days ago, my boyfriend asked if he could contribute a post to my blog.  Amused, I said why not, and shortly thereafter I received this write up.  Keep in mind, it's all in good humor and I thought it would be fun to share the male perspective on this with you.  In fact, he titled this "I Hope You're Happy," in response to the fact that I actually agreed to let him do this.

Enjoy!
________________________

Silver Remote for Apple TV
My trashcan overflows with discarded CVS brand organic cotton balls stained with with hues only barely distinguishable from one another.  Bottles of nail polish obstruct my view of Kevin Spacey in the oval office, and the smell of acetone has permeated the walls of my apartment.  My name is Jared S. and I'm dating a nail polish blogger.

Several times a week I'm asked to choose a color.  I make my choice only to hear, "Are you sure?" or "Why that color?"  Inevitably my selection, which I never cared to make in the first place, is thrown away like an empty bottle of Essie Quick Dry (quick life hack ladies, those empty bottles can be used to hold a single, very short stemmed rose).  Every shopping trip requires a detour to the nail polish section.  We could be looking for bedding or maybe on the way to a life saving operation but let's make a quick stop at Sally Beauty.  I hate that I know what Sally Beauty is. 

Do you really need to paint polish your nails during Broad City?  Why are you pinning a color?  What's a pin?  What have you readers done to my girl friend? It's an addiction. It's unhealthy and it's scary.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have 6 episodes of House of Cards to binge watch.  If I stay up all night, I'm pretty sure I can finish by work tomorrow.
________________________




InstagramPinterestFacebookTwitterFeedburnerBloglovin

41 comments :

  1. rofl!! Love the "life hack"... you have a very observant boyfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I hate that I know what Sally Beauty is." Or that fact that you know it's Sally Beauty and not Sally's Beauty lol. Jared, just accept it and be glad she doesn't use you for swatching when she doesn't have any fingers left 😉

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks...I'm not sure who is crazier though, him or me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think I like the picture best.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why did you feel the need to copy me?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Immigration is the best form of flattery.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Imitation*. I guess that too though. USA! USA! USA!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's a well written post. Way to be observant.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh him for sure! Polish addiction is totally normal and justifiable!

    ReplyDelete
  10. He's in my life because of you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. best cousin ever award? debatable...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lol! Your boyfriend is such a good sport.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks! I'm sure he'll revel in hearing that.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love it! tell him his photo is perfect- he has even learned the claw hand pose. I wish my hubs would pay this much attention to my addiction. He only pays attention to how much I am spending on my polish purchases. Your BF sounds like a gem!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Haha, I don't think he thought he was doing a claw, just what he sees me doing! And thank you, he really is a gem! (But don't tell him I said that, I'll never live it down!)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, he always choices the pinks or reds or blue. In his world, there are no other colors. And I have no idea how he knows about Essie Quick Dry -- I don't even use that!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You're talking about me as if I'm a 2 year old child mommy's angry face/pose when daddy burps at the dinner table.

    ReplyDelete
  18. 2 year old child imitating*. Wow. I'm having a lot of trouble with the word imitating today.

    ReplyDelete
  19. And you question why I treat you like a child.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tell Jared guys don't pick pink polish! Hahahah

    ReplyDelete
  21. He thinks girls should wear classic colors, that's why he chooses those colors. And then apart from that, he only knows the color blue.

    ReplyDelete
  22. OMG! I love him!!! He killed that post! #JaredforPresident

    ReplyDelete
  23. You hashtagged him. That'll go to his head next...

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love this. I will have to share it with my husband :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have a feeling he'll commiserate!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I just noticed a type in your post Jared- "cotton balls stained with with hues"

    ReplyDelete